gotta love it

я физически разлагаюсь по всем направлениям (ПОНИМАТЬ БУКВАЛЬНО)
мне всего 21 год
чо-то я не поняла

anyslut, вот мой неотредактированный пока перевод того моего рассказа про дерево на английском
название это очень хитрая аллюзия на кое-что из Селинджера, которая, конечно, откроет по новому весь сюжет, но поймут ее единицы единиц




I can’t forget the tree. Damn tree. It stands awkwardly among other trees in the valley and God knows why it was planted this way, closer to the road than the rest, breaking the line. As if someone did it on purpose so every passer-by would say: ‘Hey, you, freak! Get back on your place! Stop ruining the picture!’
Snowflakes spin for a while and then fall down on its branches and all is white around. You, lazy people, should get up and check your calendar! When was the last time you did it, really? It’s already goddamn February.
That freaky tree’s got the biggest and twiggiest crown I have ever seen in my entire life. I bet the birdies get stuck in there in summertime just like the snow does in winter. The poor birds probably suffocate and die in the summer heat as the leaves rustle causing epilepsy and what not. Someone might ask what happens then. Well, I don’t know this for sure but I guess the dead birds just hang on the branches melting down bit by bit like a Popsicle on the 4th of July until their flesh covered with sticky feathers starts dripping down. That’s why the damn tree is so branchy! Well, ain’t it just smart! Trust me, the shit’s way better than some crappy fertilizer. When you walk near the tree you might even hear the birdies’ tiny while hollow bones crutching under your boots, scary stuff. Wait, it’s actually just the snow! See? I tricked you! There are no bones there because it’s winter and all is white.
If you come up to the tree real close the background turns into something very blurry and simple. Blue sky above and white crowns with twiggy veins below – that’s about to be it. Our tree would look pretty amazing then though. One giant black and white piece of a nuclear fire ball the way they show it in those old documentaries. Here you are, standing there, eating the enormous snowflakes which are flying directly into your open mouth cuz when you look up like this the mouth is always open somehow. Another damn mystery but the best is yet to come, wait for it. The sky might be squeaky clean and the snow keeps falling. A little show just for us. How is that happening? The wind blows the flakes from the tree and throws them inside our collar, that’s how! ‘Out of the blue sky’ how they put it.
I saw that tree in pretty much any season. Saw it pulsating with sap growing buds in spring, saw it throwing the branches around in fall like the tree was possessed or something but on the second thought the chances are all it was trying to do is to say: ‘I won’t back down, I don’t care what you think! I won’t stand in line! I’m not gonna take that step back!’